


Mrs. McGarrett and the Purse of Doom

by Foodmoon



Series: Partner and Pain in the Neck [5]
Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010), The Sentinel
Genre: Bigotry & Prejudice, Gen, M/M, Misconceptions, Mrs. Williams has a temper, Platonic Relationships, So does Grace, Violence by purse, Yelling happens
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-04
Updated: 2018-02-04
Packaged: 2019-03-13 16:16:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13574223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Foodmoon/pseuds/Foodmoon
Summary: Steve's mother makes a miscalculation.





	Mrs. McGarrett and the Purse of Doom

**Author's Note:**

> All mistakes are mine

Danny doesn’t know what the woman was thinking. He really, really doesn’t. And he’s pretty sure he doesn’t want to know.

She actually was respecting the restraining order, shockingly enough, but the restraining order didn’t prevent her from approaching anyone else in Danny’s life. In retrospect, that’s an oversight. Well, not so much an oversight as that Danny’s family doesn’t live here, Rachel will get her own restraining order if the woman annoys her by breathing in her presence too much, and the woman has a known soft spot for children. _(Just look at Wo Fat. Or don’t. Because he’s dead now, but you know.)_ It's not even a consideration that she might hurt Charlie or Grace physically. She won't. Because they're kids.

So instead of approaching Danny or Steve, she approaches Danny’s _mother_ and _daughter_ on the street.

Grace proceeds to look at her like she’s a particularly noxious bug, which she ignores to start a conversation with his mother. _His mother!_

_(As noted before, Steve doesn’t get his brains from his mother, thank God and all the Hawaiian gods too, because Danny can deal with a lunatic, but that level of moronity is beyond him. Although Steve might, possibly, if Danny is realistic, get his lack of acknowledgement of obvious danger from her. Not that he’ll share that thought with Steve, because that would fall under cruel and unusual punishment.)_ She’s more subtle than she was with Steve, but still not very subtle.

She misses the signs of impending explosion. Not from Grace, who calmly states _(at the top of her lungs)_ shortly into the conversation that, **“My Danno is a good cop and don’t you talk bad about my Danno, you hater!”**

No, she ignores that, mostly; her tone going more wheedling, as she attempts to convince Danny’s mother that it would be better for all involved, kinder, to convince Danny to reject Steve so that they won’t be living in sin and the abomination won’t be around as a sign of the state of their lives after that. _And seriously? That’s the way she wants to take it? With his mother?_

Don’t get Danny wrong. His mother is convinced that they’re together like that, too. Despite the separate bedrooms and distinct lack of sexy vibes in their relationship. _(At least he hopes they aren’t giving off sexy vibes, because really? Neither of them is pining, the subject has never come up, and what’s wrong with loving your best friend as a best friend? Nothing, that’s what.)_ But unlike Steve’s questionable excuse for a mother, Danny’s mother is _thrilled_ that Steve is in his life. She thinks it’s _adorable_ how attached Lunatic (and the other lunatic) is attached to Danny. She has nothing against Sentinels and Guides. Her views on who can love who aren’t archaic _(or at least not bigoted, okay?)._ And the woman is visibly upsetting her favorite (only) granddaughter as well as implying that her son isn’t good enough for Steve. Or possibly the reverse. The wheedling is a bit unclear on which is which.

And she’s got her purse. That purse is a weapon. A lethal weapon in disguise. _(Just ask Matt. He ran afoul of it the first time he got caught shoplifting and Danny’s quit counting how many times since then.)_

She snaps.

“Don’t you _ever-_ ” **WHAP.** “talk to me like that again, you-” **WHAP.** “small-minded, ignorant-” **TWHAP!** “excuse for a biological donor!” **WHAP, WHAP.** “Don’t think I didn’t hear what you did-” **WHAP.** “to your kids and husband-” **TWHAP!** “because you are a cowardly-” **WHAP.** “unfeeling-” **WHAP.** “piece of dog shit!” **WHAP, WHAP, WHAP!** “You keep your poisonous-” **TWHAP!** “bigoted-” **TWHAP!** “drivel away from me and every other person-” **TWHAP!** “on these islands! Especially away from my Danny’s kids! You hear me, you-” **SMACK!** She misses because the woman dodges, and hits a car instead, setting off the alarm. “two-faced cretinous harlot! How dare you suggest Steve isn’t good enough for my Danny? Steve’s _my son_ now, and if you come near either one of them. **I. Will. End. You!** You hear me? _End you!_ My Danny’s _the best_ cop. And you know what? My good for nothing son Matty will tell the judge that I’ve got justifiable cause, because he’s a lawyer now that I’ve got him back on the straight and narrow. And someone like you ain’t got nothing on my Matty for double talking like a slithery snake. So I will end you! And- _Come back here you murderous bimbo!”_ She screeches after Steve’s mother as the woman escapes into the crowd. Which is difficult, since most of them are staring at his mother in startled wonderment, by this point.

Danny just shakes his head in disbelief as Grace recounts the tale with great glee.

“…and Gramma was _awesome!”_

His mother is a strange combination of annoyed and self-satisfied. She nods emphatically. “I was awesome. Gracey gets it from me.”

Chin is grinning so hard he’d probably break his face if he tried to talk, and Kono is too busy giggling madly to speak.

Wide-eyed, Steve tells Danny in a serious, reverential tone, “Danno, I _love_ your mother!”

Then he breaks into helpless laughter.

Danny just rolls his eyes, and wonders,

_How is this his life?_

**Author's Note:**

> Mrs. McGarrett, Mrs. Williams, and Matt probably vary a fair bit from the show.
> 
> I figure, if Mrs. Williams was fully aware of Matt's criminal bent, she'd have made sure he turned out better. Or at least more legal. Matt's a lawyer in this one.
> 
> ~~(My cousin objected to this, rather vociferously, on the grounds that lawyers are neither less criminal nor more legal. Apparently there are _stories_ behind this. I'm afraid to ask. And I'm still sticking to my definition.)
> 
> I know it's rough, no need to tell me.  
> Editing and other comments are welcome, but please be gentle.


End file.
